I haven't vacuumed in 3 weeks

"She would remind me that one day I would be a grown woman and a wife, and asked what my household would look like if all I ever did was read. To calm her down...I gave every appearance of a girl thinking ahead to home life, home duties, but it was all fraud. I was like a heroin addict who learns how to appear supremely in control and able to negotiate a day-to-day existence while scheming for the opportunity to introduce madness into her veins."

~Zarah Ghahramani, My Life As A Traitor

If I still LOOK pregnant, does it count?

So don't judge me, but I still park in the "New & Expectant Mothers" spot at the grocery store. And at the mall. And anywhere else I can find one of those genius parking spaces.
My rationalization is twofold:
1. As long as the baby is still in the baby car seat, and/or
2. Until I have lost all my baby weight,
that is where I am parking my car.
I'm just saying, those baby seats weigh a ton and if I have to carry it, I am not carrying it far; AND I want some perks for the lingering 35+ pounds I gained during pregnancy.

And if anyone gives me a hard time, I'm just gonna say, "Oh, I just had a baby." (Like, seven months ago.) But it's ok to say that til he's 1, right?

First things first

I call Sharks a number of things, depending on my (and his) mood - silly goose, Harkins Malarkins, sweet heart, Sparkins, big boy, dude...you catch my drift.

So today I asked him, "Are you my buddy?"

And he scrunched up his little face, shook his head, and said, "No...son!"

At least he understands his role in the family.