So for the first time ever, ok, well at least since writing all those miserable papers in college, I am feeling like there is no possible way for me to accomplish everything I need to each day. There is no way.
Someone always needs something. Even nap time is consumed because the baby might be awake, or Sharks might have sneaked (snuck? snickered?) his way downstairs, or I might need to eat (or read.)
Here's where the trouble lies - since everyone needs something, whose needs do you let slide so that the whole family can function well together? For example, my husband functions best when the house is in order (I'm not talking clean, just generally tidy.) I function best when I am well fed. Sharks likes to talk. Deedo likes to be held. Both like it when I read to them. And Finn, the sweetest little baby around, clearly likes to be held, both to eat and to be smiled upon.
Yet there are multiple times every day (actually most moments every day) when it seems like no one's needs are being met because I am trying to meet every one's needs all at once. I cannot hold Deeds while I'm disciplining Sharks. I cannot hold a screaming baby while reading. You get the idea. (As I write this, I am thinking that maybe I should focus on what I can do, instead of what I can't.)
I'll be honest, the easiest thing to set aside is tidiness. But then I feel like I am not loving my husband well, when he walks into our home after a long day to utter chaos. Or I can wait to cook dinner until he comes home, but then we don't eat until 7, which means the boys go to bed late, which means grumpy city the next day.
I understand that we are a family, and we live to serve each other. This means that we all have to give up some of our desires in order that our family members can receive. So I don't think it is a bad thing that we are in this learning process. I hope that this doesn't sound complaining or rant-y. It's just life at the moment, and I'd love your thoughts on how you maintain balance.
So, what are the things you choose to let go of when life gets crazy? Or maybe a better question is, how do you organize/re-organize your life to accomplish the necessities of daily living?
3 comments:
Hey Mama Hutch,
I am the last person qualified to give advice, based on the state of things here. But I will say that you have 3 children under 5 and that is a difficult season. Well, it is a sweet season, but for "getting everything done" it is not conducive. I guess you and Chet have to come to terms together on what can slide. But I always give myself at least the first six months before I start to have any expecations of order and cleanliness. There is just too much to do in a house with wee ones and too little time to do it. Whatever gets done is like the icing on the cake. As Sharks and Deedo get older they will be able to do a lot to help maintain order. Our boys do things like take out the trash, sort the laundry, unload the dishwasher, etc. (Something to look forward to!)
I just wanted to encourage you becuase I know that when you are in the midst of it with a new baby it can feel crazy at times. It will pass. Babies will stop crying, and big boys will learn to do amazing things like wipe down the sink and life will change again. It is also a really great time to physically understand and picture our weakness and our need for Christ, and to rest in His work, which is already done!
Do not grow weary in doing good!!
wow, what amazing luck that I came across your blog! :) as you can imagine, I so so relate on this post. can't wait to read more!
I'm sure it sounds too cliche to say "the days are long, but the years are short", but it's completely true and good to keep in mind.
I only worry about moms who don't worry about the things you're contemplating :) Just the fact that you are aware of the needs around you means you're on the right track.
One thing that is helpful to me, even though my youngest two are 11, is to try to "be all there" no matter which need I'm trying to meet. Give all your attention to the child you're listening to (without one eye on the messy kitchen counter), or to the baby you're changing. Although quality time vs. quantity is a cruel myth, it's still true that your children and husband will feel more loved and connected to you if you give them your undivided attention - even if it's offered less times per day than you desire.
As far as housekeeping, just get out a piece of paper and pick one main chore for each day. Do that one thing religiously. Keep your kids with you if you need to. You can overlook a lot if you know that the day is coming when the area will be addressed.
Persevere. It gets easier :)
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